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The Devil's Dictionary:    

Definition of Weather

  WEATHER   noun
The climate of the hour.  A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned.  The setting up official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.
  Once I dipt into the future far as human eye could see,
  And I saw the Chief Forecaster, dead as any one can be --
  Dead and damned and shut in Hades as a liar from his birth,
  With a record of unreason seldom paralleled on earth.
  While I looked he reared him solemnly, that incadescent youth,
  From the coals that he'd preferred to the advantages of truth.
  He cast his eyes about him and above him; then he wrote
  On a slab of thin asbestos what I venture here to quote --
  For I read it in the rose-light of the everlasting glow:
  'Cloudy; variable winds, with local showers; cooler; snow.'

Halcyon Jones

Devil's Dictionarydefinition from:
The Devil's Dictionary
by Ambrose Bierce, 1911


Last updated: 9/3/2011 12:48:30