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The Devil's Dictionary:    

Definition of Lead

  LEAD   noun
A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers -- particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.  Lead is also of great service as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way.  An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.
  Hail, holy Lead! -- of human feuds the great
      And universal arbiter; endowed
      With penetration to pierce any cloud
  Fogging the field of controversial hate,
  And with a sift, inevitable, straight,
      Searching precision find the unavowed
      But vital point.  Thy judgment, when allowed
  By the chirurgeon, settles the debate.
  O useful metal! -- were it not for thee
      We'd grapple one another's ears alway:
  But when we hear thee buzzing like a bee
      We, like old Muhlenberg, 'care not to stay.'
  And when the quick have run away like pellets
  Jack Satan smelts the dead to make new bullets.

Devil's Dictionarydefinition from:
The Devil's Dictionary
by Ambrose Bierce, 1911


Last updated: 9/3/2011 12:48:30