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The Devil's Dictionary:    

Definition of Helpmate

  HELPMATE   noun
A wife, or bitter half.
  'Now, why is yer wife called a helpmate, Pat?'
      Says the priest.  'Since the time 'o yer wooin'
  She's niver [sic] assisted in what ye were at --
      For it's naught ye are ever doin'.'

  'That's true of yer Riverence [sic],' Patrick replies,
      And no sign of contrition envices;
  'But, bedad, it's a fact which the word implies,
      For she helps to mate the expinses [sic]!'

Marley Wottel

Devil's Dictionarydefinition from:
The Devil's Dictionary
by Ambrose Bierce, 1911


Last updated: 9/3/2011 12:48:30