Definition of Helpmate

  'Now, why is yer wife called a helpmate, Pat?'
      Says the priest.  'Since the time 'o yer wooin'
  She's niver [sic] assisted in what ye were at --
      For it's naught ye are ever doin'.'

  'That's true of yer Riverence [sic],' Patrick replies,
      And no sign of contrition envices;
  'But, bedad, it's a fact which the word implies,
      For she helps to mate the expinses [sic]!'

Marley Wottel