Historical Markers StoppingPoints.com Historical Markers, Sightseeing & Points of Interest Scenic Roads & Points of Interest
About Us | Photo Gallery | Free Widgets | Featured States | Search Site
HomeFree WidgetsThe Devil's Dictionary → Heathen
The Devil's Dictionary:    

Definition of Heathen

  HEATHEN   noun
A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.  According to Professor Howison, of the California State University, Hebrews are heathens.
  'The Hebrews are heathens!' says Howison.  He's
      A Christian philosopher.  I'm
  A scurril agnostical chap, if you please,
      Addicted too much to the crime
      Of religious discussion in my rhyme.

  Though Hebrew and Howison cannot agree
      On a modus vivendi -- not they! --
  Yet Heaven has had the designing of me,
      And I haven't been reared in a way
      To joy in the thick of the fray.

  For this of my creed is the soul and the gist,
      And the truth of it I aver:
  Who differs from me in his faith is an 'ist,
      And 'ite, an 'ie, or an 'er --
      And I'm down upon him or her!

  Let Howison urge with perfunctory chin
      Toleration -- that's all very well,
  But a roast is 'nuts' to his nostril thin,
      And he's running -- I know by the smell --
      A secret and personal Hell!

Bissell Gip

Devil's Dictionarydefinition from:
The Devil's Dictionary
by Ambrose Bierce, 1911


Last updated: 9/3/2011 12:48:30